The Bone Collector (2026)
The Bone Collector is a series of 32 photographic self-portraits telling my story of recovery from
complete dissociative amnesia caused by over three decades of complex trauma, to memory and health.
I found the carcass of a sheep whilst out walking. It felt symbolic of my past suffering, and the bones symbolic of memory and the exposure of what happened to me. I collected some of the bones and took self-portraits in a creative reimagining of what it took to remember, to recover and to heal.
On this page you can read more about the project: about my personal story of dissociative amnesia and memory recovery, my photographic process and subsequent handmade bookmaking, an exhibition of the work, and ideas for further community engagement.
Photographs
'The Bone Collector' Series
I use self-portrait photography to express, explore and catalyse my difficult experiences. My photographs are self-witness. They are a reflection on and testimony to the suffering, determination, guts and tenacity that recovery from trauma takes, and the steadfast and defiant recovery that I have reached.
I show myself and share my story in a celebration of my courage, empowerment and growth. What happened to me cannot be erased, but it can be faced, held and transformed.
I printed the images in two ways when making The Bone Collector book - as a traditional black and white photograph, representing the clarity of knowing my story and memory, and as 'imprints' - rough, sketchy and blotchy, with ink seeping through the pages. These represent the embodied nature of unprocessed trauma, and the physical impact of it.
'Imprints'
Scans of original pieces used to create 'imprints' using acetone transfer
Personal Story - Project Context
I believe that "what happened to you?" is far more helpful than "what is wrong with you?"
I suffered from mental health difficulties for years - most of my life. I have always had a dissociative disorder. Understanding that complex trauma is at the root of my suffering and struggle has allowed me to understand what caused me such distress and to heal from it. Understanding my experience of dissociative disorders took time, and has been helpful and very important.
Dissociative amnesia is one of several dissociative disorders in which a person forgets key elements of their life, and is therefore divorced from a full understanding of themselves and their current state. It often following trauma or severe stress. In the case of dissociative amnesia, individuals suffer abnormal memory loss in ways that significantly disrupt their lives. They may forget a specific event, or they may forget who they are and everything about themselves and their personal history.
From Psychology Today
In 2020 I reached a point where I did not know my life. My autobiographical memory was inaccessible. I had not been able to adequately process trauma, and other memories were increasingly shut away.
In a breakdown - and a breakthrough, in a way - I was flooded by 24/7 flashbacks. My recovery process was one of trusting my 'symptoms', facing what emerged when I unpicked what memory was surfacing, in the intensity of it all. I knew that facing it was the way, not trying to shut what was surfacing down again. I was digging very deep through every body sensation and emotion that I had never been able to process, through years of enduring complex trauma. With each surfacing memory fragment, I processed the traumatic experience that I had never been able to process at the time, eventually putting words to what was, filing it as memory, and finding ways to move on. I now have healthy access to autobiographical memory.
The Bone Collector Library
I have a set of five handmade photobooks, which feel like a little library. I would love for these to be shared more widely!
I hand make the artist photobooks of The Bone Collector using print techniques to tell not only my story, but a story of my experience of living with amnesia and complex trauma, and the process required to recover memory and rebuild life.
In designing the book, I used the idea of excavation, metaphor for the emotional recovery process and to symbolise the idea of needing to dig through trauma that was for me so deeply imprinted in my body, to reach the information about what had happened in my life.
I print the images using acetone transfer - blotchy, sketchy and rough - like the sense of trauma imprinted as body memory. The acetone dissolves the toner ink onto the paper beneath. These prints seeped through the soft handmade papers, leaving inky stains behind. Each print is a unique one-off. I attach photographic prints over the top - readers are invited to lift these and explore the layers beneath.
I add poetic text over the layered imagery, to offer the narrative to my recovery process - told as a creative reimagining as if the sheep and its bones led me through it.
Exhibition
"What I lived cannot be erased, but it can be held, faced and transformed"
I exhibited 16 photographs from the series in a solo exhibition (my first!) at the Printroom Café, in The Storey, Lancaster UK, in June 2026.
I am on the lookout for new spaces to show this work. Please contact me if you are interested!
"It is so strong to say something true."
"[This exhibition] challenges, it asks you to look. The photographs are beautiful."
"Your courage, sagacity and skills to share your lived experience through this medium are astonishing."
"You have an absolute gift to be able to talk about abuse like this."
"I felt the pain, absorbed the beauty and walked into town thinking only of the quiet, lasting hopefulness the exhibition had stirred in my mind. Quite an experience. I do hope that your brave work finds new audiences."
"Arresting, genuine, original. Technically masterful. Bravo."
"It's dancerly with the movement, there is life, you're alive. There is life in the bones. It is great to see a woman's body in this way and not just as something there to look at. It is amazing, powerful, so moving. It is so positive, so healing."
"Your exhibition is utterly visceral, beautiful, compelling and profound. You are courageous and resilient. I brought my daughter to see it, and she is also blown away."
"The photographs are stunning and powerful, I can feel it all deep in the pictures."
"There is hope and recovery glinting through and the fractures heal. The image at the end asks questions of us all… There are cracks and discordant chords here but you have somehow allowed the light to seep through. I can see that… I can feel that. Pain and beauty. Thank you."
"The photographs are stunning and powerful, I can feel it all deep in the pictures."
"Ruth, the tenderness, the honesty, the bravery of this is palpable. Thank you for sharing your talent with us."
"What an incredibly moving and powerful exhibition of photographs. What a story...can't really put my response adequately in words!"
"These images are exceptional. They show a strength of mind, body, character. And what a brilliantly made book. Outstanding."
"This is a profoundly moving and courageous body of work. You have found a way to give form to experiences that are often beyond words, transforming pain into something thoughtful, beautiful, and ultimately hopeful. The images stayed with me long after I had seen them. Thank you for sharing such an honest and deeply personal journey."
"It's honest, it's stark, it's powerful.
This needs to be on walls."
Engagement
I believe this work has further potential, building on the conversations generated by the exhibition in June 2026.
This work has been valued in various ways:
- the photography - self-portraiture, the concept, developing a series, and using photography as a creative way to express, understand and relate to lived experience;
- the hand-made book - my process of integrating the concept of my work into a coherent whole with a text-based narrative included, and hand-crafting a photobook
- the exhibition - exhibiting artwork very publicly about personal lived experience and difficult subjects which are often silent and silenced in society;
- my lived experience of amnesia, dissociation and memory recovery, and the link between mental health difficulty and photography as a tool of self-witness and expression. This work has sparked discussions about the need to consider dissociative disorders and the impact of trauma when helping survivors.
I am able to give a presentation about my project The Bone Collector, which I am able to focus in different ways according to the audience.
I would love to exhibit this work again.
I consider there to be various audiences and spaces for this work, using my books and photographs as a tool for connection, inspiration and discussion:
health care settings ... libraries ... community spaces ... online discussion spaces ... conferences ... galleries
I currently mentor a photography student, and would love to expand this work to assist others wishing to use photography to
express personal stories, on a one-to-one basis or in workshops.
I would love to hear from you, with any of your ideas! Please contact me if you are interested.
I look forward to hearing from you, and thank you for your support!